Hating NGOs

I have told you a week ago that I'm back.. I was supposed to write, post and comment as much as I used to before, now that he has gone back to where he is, and I'm supposed to have all the time in the world for my blog. But things were just a lil bit too crazy even after he left.

My heart was missing him so much that I had no interest in anything around me and everything that I used to enjoy wasn’t fun for me anymore.. I focused all my time & energy in my work.

[Sorry but I had to delete the rest of this post cuz apparently I was just in a very snappy mood while writting it, that I kinda made no sense & some of what I wrote is.. hmm. unfair! Sorry..]

Aint no Sunshine

I would like to apologize to all of you for not posting anything for a long time now, and not being active in the blogosphere in general..


I have been busy with working two shifts ( working in two different places) in addition to the lovely company of my special one..


Now that his vacation is over and he's back to complete his final year studies and am left alone. ( Damn I miss him already) I will be back to the blogosphere but not as active as before due to the difficult working hours am on now..


I will go through my favourite blogs to check on what I been missing, leave comments and afterwards post more articles, poems and whatever here on my blog.. As well as more pics from my many many evenings and nights out in Khartoum in the previous days.. ( I will miss those days)


I thank you very much for your patience and for your continuous support..

A little something for today is my version of "Aint no Sunshine"....

Aint no Sunshine when he's gone..

Its not warm when hes away..

Aint no sunshine when he's gone..

And now he's gone..

Leaving me alone..

Ever since he went away..

Wonder how is he doing alone..

Wonder if everything is okay..

Aint no sunshine when he's gone..

And this heart just aint the same..

Ever since he went away..

Aint no sunshine when he's gone..

Only darkness everyday..

And this heart just aint the same..

Ever since he went away..

p.s: every minute & every second.. I miss you.. cant stop thinking about you.. Its hardest thing I have to do.. is live my life without you..

I Cry.. I Weep.. I Scream

I only write when overwhelmed with sadness...

After a month of joy..

again, I write...

I Cry.. I Weep.. I Scream..

In the dark.. I lay…
I cry and I scream…
In perplexity I wonder…
What's real??
And what's a dream??
When everything I see..
And everything I feel..
Aren’t what they seem..
And everything I believed..
And thought that it was me..
Thought it was you..
Aint who we be..
Aint not as much as true..

Now, I try..
I pry…
I open my eyes..
But nothing is clear..
And all I feel is fear..
Crawling slowly to the surface..
Of my soul so helpless..
Mystification swallows me..
My solicitude blinds me, I can no longer see..
I'm drowning in my own tears..
I cry…
I scream..
Wonder why no one can hear my call..
Is this real?
Or is it just another dream?

The pain in my soul..
Keeps pulling me back..
For you I gave my all..
Because of you I lost my track..
My past.. and my present..
Lay heavily upon my years..
All our good times and our pleasant..
Cannot undo the sorrows or wipe my tears..
Again, I cry..
I weep…
I scream my pain within..
Never away..
I wonder.. I ask..
Is this real?
Or yet.. just another painful dream?

In my tears I'm lost..
I weep.. I blear..
Couldn’t melt your insoluble frost..
Not my love.. not even my tears..
I am lost…
I stray.. I wander..
Searching for what is right..
Because of you..
And my love..
So deep and so true..
I can no longer see..
I can no longer feel..
But the pain of you..
Inside of me..
As I cry…
And as I scream..
A poser in my mind..
Were you real?
Or were you just another dream?

My eyes are now open..
My vision still vague..
I touch your presence..
Living inside my mind..
I feel your heart..
Beating beside mine..
Maybe it's a dream..
Just another dream..
Maybe an illusion..
Blindfolding my logical conclusions..
Causing my everlasting confusion..
Desperate..
But a hopeful heart..
Blinded from the truth..
By the sorrows and the pain..
By the love and emotions..
A heart..
Fatigued from the hurt..
Broken too many times..
And still I cry.. And I scream..
Is this real?
Or is it a dream?

I close my eyes…
To go back to my dream..
Of you and I..
I hear a scream..
Of distress
and pain..
breaksdown the fortress..
and all the chains..
of my alluring thoughts..
of the loving times we had..
and all the things you taught
my virgin heart and soul so sad..
Distress…
Lies within me..
Trying to break free..
Guide me to reality..
And pull me away
From a dream..
Or a nightmare..
I would never know..

I love…I feel..
I cry.. I scream..

What is real?
And what is a dream?