Fear of Flying

During the past year I've traveled twice; in summer to UAE by Etihad Air, and next time to Norway by Turkish Airlines.
In my second travel, I took 6 airplanes in less than 3 weeks! Yes, 6!!!
1st one was a 4 hours flight from Khartoum to Istanbul via Turkish Airlines, and I must say that Istanbul Airport must be one of the best, most organized airports to transit through.
2nd was a 3 hours and a half flight from Istanbul to Oslo, very smooth with a very delicious lunch!
3rd flight was a 55 minutes long turbulence from Bergen to Oslo, the weather was snowy/windy and the plane just did not stop shaking the whole 55 minutes, and I did not stop praying for a minute! However, the airplane was Scandinavian Airlines, good plane and impressive pilot.
4th was an hour and half smooth flight via Norwegian Air from Berlin to Oslo, I think by then I was getting used to airplanes and flying after taking too many flights in a very short time.
The 5th and 6th were Turkish Airlines back to Khartoum through Istanbul where I stopped for 2 nights.
Now, although I have been taking airplanes since I was a little child, and then I used to LOVE flying, but since my first all-alone-flight in the Summer, I have developed some sort of flying-phobia, that had been too hard to control. I would actually break into tears, thinking of my family back home and regretting the decision of traveling.
To make myself feel better, and to reassure myself, that everything will be alright, I think numbers, and I ask myself how many times have this particular plane/Airline had an air-crash! During my previous travel, the answer was always none! (Although, it turns out Turkish Airlines had an air crash during a domestic flight back in 2003, luckily for me I didn’t know that back then).

After watching and reading the recent news of the Turkish Airlines crash in Amsterdam, I think it would be impossible for me to use that strategy in my next travel, specially that I was already planning to take Turkish Airlines, I guess now I'll have to pay a few extra Sudanese Pounds and take KLM instead, or just find myself another strategy, sleeping pills maybe?!

-Just for the sake of Turkish Airlines, regardless of this accident, I have always considered it one of the best Airlines I took in terms of smooth flying, good services, and yummy meals. So, to be honest, I might take Turkish Airlines next time I travel, and by the way, my boss is taking Turkish Airlines back to Khartoum tomorrow. Wish him a safe and pleasent flighty-

My Thoughts: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, is a best – seller novel in Europe written by the late Swedish Author and Social conscience Journalist This book is a first of the "Millennium Trilogy" which was written by Stieg Larsson before he passed away, unfortunately he didn’t live long enough to see the success of his novels.

The novel starts of introducing us to one of the main characters - who are too many, yet you will find no difficulty following up with the many names- Mikael Blomkvist: a middle aged journalist who is a shareholder of a financial magazine in Stockholm that he edits, Blomkvist is the honest kind hard working journalist, that you will find yourself falling in love with easily while reading this book, which explains why you will hate his partner in the Magazine Erika Berger.

Another main character that I am sure you will also love is Lisbeth Salander, who is by the way, the girl with the too many tattoos including the dragon tattoo. She seems violent and antisocial, but she only has some issues that many of us have. I loved this girl all the way through this novel, and she was the reason, I hated the ending.

I don’t know is it just me or is it written in a novels-writing manual that good books, must always have an ending that literally sucks and makes you want to go over to the author and slap him on the face! Of course in this case, he's too dead to be slapped!

Anyway, if you haven't read the links I provided earlier with reviews on this book, then you must know that this fiction is basically a murder mystery. Blomkvist is hired by Henrik Vanger, the aged former CEO of the family run-ed Vanger Corporation, to unfold the 40 years old mystery of Harriet Vanger, who was 16 years old when she disappeared, assumedly murdered. Blomkvist only accepts this ridiculous and crazy assignment –that’s what he thought- only because Vanger promised to help him in what was his main problem at that time, proving a case of International Financial Fraud.

Working on this very strange case, Blomkvist delves into family secrets that even Henrik didn’t know. A serial rapist and murder was part of the mystery: and as Blomkvist, with the help of Lisbeth Salander, get closer and closer to finding out the hidden truth, which YOU will never guess, the hunter becomes the hunted, and their lives are endangered.

By the end of the novel, the mystery is solved, the reader will still be utterly flabbergasted by what happens, but the novel, bizarrely, still goes on. I know there are still more things that needed to be done, explained and taken care of, but for me as a reader, after I've been fully surprised and satisfied by the answer to the Harriet enigma, I didn’t feel like reading more; but I had to anyway, and you wont feel disappointed reading through the 40-something pages left of the novel, as it can be as exciting as the mystery itself.

After solving Harriet's puzzle, Blomkvist now dedicates his time and energy to solve his own problems, and this time, Salander helps him in getting all the information he needs to write a special edition of the Magazine about this certain huge Swedish corporation that is also a huge financial fraud and "gangster".

The reader will be satisfied with the ending this way as everyone is happy, Harriet mystery solved, Blomkvist reaches his goal, but; it is not a happy ending to Salander, and since we love her, thus it is not to us as well!

What is very special about this book is that it hits a very sensitive social chord, Women and Gender Equality. It highlights disturbing issues such as Murder, rap, assualts and all shapes of abuse towards woman not only in sweden but we all know, happens all around the world.

It is without a doubt a wonderful amazing book that I completely recommend you to get it right now and start reading it.

Part II of the trilogy is "The Girl who Played with Fire"; who is by the way, our very own beloved Salander. I can't wait to get my hands on that book!

If you do read "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo", please feed me back with your opinions as well.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

A very special friend of mine got me this book from her last trip to Norway, well she actually said she got it for me from Denmark. I started reading "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" about two weeks ago, and I am officially hooked to that book.

Its written by the late Swedish Journalist Steig Larsson, translated to English byReg Keeland.

The story is a captivating mystery that will keep you reading its pages anxiously.

For all fiction readers, I highly recommend this book, which is volume one of a great triology.

This book disucusses and shows the dark side of men-women relationships in Sweden, that can only serve as an example for the rest of the European countries as well.

I'm only half way through the book, so I cant really give you much of an overview or an opinion about it at this very moment, but you can always read these reviews.

Happy Valentines Day

Although I no longer beleive in romance and that passionate love I used to dream of, and although I no longer trust a man's fake "I love you"s, but you might still have a little hope. So anyway, I deeply and sincerely wish you a very Happy Valentines day, whether you are Single, dating, engaged or married. Enjoy the day and dont let anyone not even him/her, ruin it for you!

Happy Valentines Day

ONLY 20 Random facts about me, who said it has to be 25 anyway?

1. I LOVE rice! White rice, Beryani, Mandi, kabsa, with chicken, with meat, with potatoes, with Salad, u name it, I eat it.. ( MY favorite is White Rice with salted Yoghurt)I can eat it any time, any where, in any way cooked! I can live on nothing but rice for the rest of my life if I had to, and this is a passionate relationship that has been on for years, since I was a little child. My family always call me “Pilipino Girl” for this and some other reasons!

2. My two greatest passions in life are “Food: and “Sleep”, yes I am a Fat lazy bum, except that I’m not fat, and, urrmm, well, I am lazy!

3. I’ve always been in love with my career and my work as Secretary/ Office Manager. I really LOVED what I do.

4. In both primary and middle school, I always scored high grades of 90% and above but in high school I really didn’t bother to care about my studies that much and my average was 85%-90%. My highest grades were in English and Math, but the lowest were in Arabic and Islamic studies! Sub7an Allah, which continued up to my first Semester in Uni; I had A’s in all subjects but got a B in Arabic and C in Islamic studies!! :s

5. I have been an Internet/Chatting (specially through msn and mIRC) addict since I was 14. My least favorite chatting software was Icq, and I never ever tried the Pal-Talk!!!

6. My hair was once dyed “Pink”, but for only one day. I did go out that day though, went to Abu Dhabi Mall.

7. I don’t like children, because I don’t know how to deal with them. I don’t know how to play with them, pamper them, feed them, or help them do anything even if I really wanted to. I feel baffled when I’m around them! And I get motherhood yearnings as rare as once a year.

8. I hate animals/pets. They disgust me. Animals, bird, insects, etc. they are all dirty and ugly, and being around them makes me feel like I need to shower instantly, and dogs scare me to death! If a dog pass my me, my whole body shivers, but spiders and roaches make my body freeze out of terror.

9. Dan Brown fans, I’m sorry to tell you this; but although I loved all Dan Brown’s Novels, for some reason I was not able to finish reading Angels and Demons and I still cant make myself read it. I simply got bored halfway through!

10. When I was 5, I once cried in my KG class because I didn’t know the right answer for a very simple puzzle/quiz whatever they call it, where we had to match up the animal/bird face with his foot!

11.. Heights terrify me. I always imagine myself falling over from wherever I am all the way down. For example, I once had to ride the fairy wheel, with my friends (Noosa, Hibz and Maha) and ask them how horribly petrified I was. I suffer from the same problem on Airplanes, as hard as I try to be easy and not think too much, but I cant stop thinking that the plane engines might just stop functioning and the plane would fall from that height all the way down, and to make myself feel better I keep thinking numbers, reminding myself that the airline I’m taking never had an accident! Lol, didn’t work when I went on a domestic flight in Sudan!

12. I get addicted too easily to almost anything. If it’s something I do, something I eat or even someone.

13. If I could turn back time, I’d study Management at Ahfad University.

14. I have passion for business, and I’m planning to switch career into that direction.

15. I can be easily fooled, lied to or deceived.

16. My favorite drink is Orange juice. It’s the only refreshment I always have. As for hot drinks I only drink red tea, and never coffee. I hate coffee.

17. I’ve been working for four years, and the only two times I managed to save a good amount of money, I instantly used it to travel. Which leaves me with almost nothing at this very moment!

18. I hate asking people for money or any sort of favor. And if I do ask you, that means I have ran out resources and options and that you are my last resort. I hate the feeling of being under one’s control, no matter who he/she is.

19. I can be the most boring companion in amusement parks and fairs! You can try to convince me for the rest of your life to ride the roller coaster with you but it will never work, even if you paid me a million dollar I will never ride that thing, and almost every other speed or -going- high- game.

20. I get bored very easily, and I’m an extreme worrier. I worry about anything and everything, and exhaust myself thinking about everything, trying to resolve everything.

In response to: Unlucky Love

As a response to my previous post "Unlucky Love", my dearest colleague, sent me a quite an interesting email in response to my pessimistic article. I will post her complete reply for you to read and compare between her positive thoughts and my negative point of view.

Please note that I have edited her reply to make it a little bit more suitable for “adolescent” readers.

“Beautifully said Lolo; but I don't think it's unlucky!!! I think it's more of our character, that we are the type of women who attract such heartbreaking “men”. We show we are strong, independent and reliable, and they love what we give them; but they in turn take care of the LESS FORTUNATE women( the clever ones), who show they need protection and that they can't live without a man's protection, and they are the ones who end up catching the men!
On the other hand we are disposable ( get what ever she can give you then throw her away) Life is a 1+1=2 rule., if you give them a finger they want the whole hand!!!
I have some bad news for you ladies; unless you play dumb, helpless and totally lost without them, you'll end up being used, abused and tossed away for the other weak, helpless woman.
We stand beside them, support, encourage and give heart and soul, and all you get in return is a friend's role, he wants to practice his manhood with a weak, feminine woman who makes him feel strong, capable and in the driver's seat.
Well now I have some good news for you; there are out there strong, confident men who are totally secure and sure of their manhood, who really appreciate a strong independent woman, who can give a hand!!! There are our versions of male type, who are stable, and steady and who could actually become the wind beneath your wings and help you soar.
Look around you'll find them, stop looking for men to support, look for strong
men who compliment your wonderful strong personalities, and become one unbeatable match made in heaven.
We are absolutely OK, our only mistake is the choices we make in men.

We deserve to love and be loved back and appreciated... for what we are.....let the other women get the insecure men.....we deserve better anyway....”

Makes me feel a little better, and hopeful again! What about you?

Unlucky Love

The relationship between men and women; an argument that is as old as humanity. Secrets of love, how to maintain a perfect love relationship, how to withhold a marriage, how to get the man/woman you want, and an endless list of such topics that had been discussed, researched, and written about by several writers, researchers, therapists and even scientists. Nevertheless, with millions of articles and the numerous books and publishing's that can be found either in public libraries, bookshops or even the world wide web, millions of people around the world still suffer on a daily basis from emotional abuse, unhealthy relationships or only continuous mind and heart confusion that might as well affect other aspects of their lives, if it is family, friends or even work in a very negative way, making one fall deeper into depression and sink in an endless ocean of commotion that is not easy to get out of.


In the next lines, I am not trying to state my personal theory about love, nor am I planning to give away -what I believe- is an ultimate solution for this eternal predicament; on the contrary, I will only write about my endless frustrations, and my previous dramatic experiences.

The no. 1 problem in every relationship between two lovers is and has always been "trust", and this might be the only point that all writers, researchers, therapists, scientists and lovers can agree on. From a more personal point of view, trust had only begun to be my problem since the summer of 2007, when my relationship with my significant other - at that time- started shaking. There was nothing crystal clear, but my woman's intuition was giving me several warnings, which were always calmed down and forgotten after a few sugar-coated words from him. Until I made the decision which can be the best or worse decision I ever took in a relationship! I decided to "test" his faithfulness and honesty. He failed! I, then knew without a doubt that he was both unfaithful and a liar.
Still, being the naive person that I am, I gave him a second chance wanting him to prove that what had happened was nothing more than a silly mistake that will never happen again. Naive I was, and an ordinary man he was, an ordinary man that would never stray away from his nature of "loving all women" and cannot kill the "lying" genes inside of him.
Fall 2007 was the season my first dream was murdered.


My true, honest, and faithful love for this "man" was flashed down the toilet, and for a long time ahead I could hardly see through my blurry eyes or breathe with that painful load of emotional baggage lying heavily on my chest.

And now, fifteen months later I realize that the scar he left is too deep to heal; as I can no longer believe in love, I can no longer feel the truth in any spoken words of passion, I can no longer believe or trust, I can no longer forgive or forget and I can no longer live love like I used to.

I play cautious, and when you're playing cautious, you lose all the fun in the game.

I engage in several conversations with my lady friends, telling them how all men are liars, it's in their genes; and that is something I wholeheartedly believe in. I tell them how all men are unfaithful, another undeniable fact. Men are complicated, they say they want a "yes" girl; but they marry the "wrong" girl. They can date you, love you, and be the best lover ever, for months and years, only to marry his cousin, family friend, co-worker, or that "bitch" who had been stalking him for years.

I read a quote online, something that says "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle" I laughed about it, then I wrote it on my msn messenger display message, and on my facebook status, but deep inside, I knew better than anyone else, that it is not true. Women need love to survive, we need to have someone to care for, to look after, to sacrifice for, we love to feel "needed", we love for that feeling, and we also love to be pampered, having someone to run to when it gets cold outside, someone to share our moments of glory, someone to remedy our pain and sorrows. We need to have someone. We need to love.

As a conclusion, I do not think it is a matter of chemistry between a man and a woman, I don’t even think that honesty is a big deal in it, many successful marriages are based on the small little lies husbands tell their wives to keep them happy and satisfied, "fools they are I must say", and for sure it is not love that is the answer of all this mystery, as women love and give, but still get nothing but heartaches in return. So, what is the vital answer and solution that would solve everyone's love puzzles and enigmas?

You can call it luck, or like those romantic movies we indulge ourselves in, till we fall deeper in our despair, they suggest its "Destiny".

I'd rather say I am just "unlucky" in love!

2009: Dreams and Visions

After writing down my overview on the past year of 2008, and realizing how everything has been turning out for my own benefit, regardless of the downfall and few breakdowns; I must say that I am compelled to be obliged for everything I been through, good or bad, and that I ought to look at 2009, with optimistic and positive eyes.

1. Develop Me

In 2009 I plan to focus my energy and resources on developing my academic qualifications.
I have already applied for a very constructive and advantageous course that will take place in June this year in Oslo, Norway. It is a 6 weeks course on "International Politics" which will definitely perk up my political awareness into a higher level of professionalism. Even though my request for financial assistance from my employer have been disregarded, but that will not stop me from moving ahead with my plan, keeping in view that the costs of this course are somewhat high and too expensive for me, nonetheless my plan is to cross all extra miles to achieve my goal.
(Wish me luck, as I am still waiting for the acceptance letter!)


2. See More

2008 has been all about traveling, and I want 2009 to be just the same in this aspect *Enshala*. I've already started the year with a very short trip to Merowe dam and the area around it together with Nuri Pyramids, Kareema Pyramids and Barkal Mountain. That was a very unique and special trip, almost like a part 2 of my previous trip to Merowe Pyramids in Bajaraweya.
I already had been considering taking a short vacation with the Easter Holidays, as I can use my 3 working days left from last years' leave, add them to our 4 days off Easter holiday, and have a wonderful 12 days vacation, but, if I got accepted for the Summer Course in Oslo, then I'll have to delay all traveling plans in order to save the money for that course. We'll see how things go.

3. Me Vs. Routine

Routine is becoming an inseparable part of my life, and my 2009 main resolution is to beat it! I will be creative in everything I do, if its work, family matters or even my heart affairs.

4. Plan Less Work More.

I have always been a creative planner, but not a worker, I think, I plan, count numbers, create projects, anything, but never get the actual work done. This time, I will implement all that I plan, and I will never go forward to another step before I am completely done with the first, and as a first step of this resolution, I will not write down more resolutions that this, as not to get my self shattered between them all and get nothing done –as I always do-, but I will work on these 4 points only, and hopefully by the end of 2009 my list will be fully checked.

Merowe Dam

My Trip to Merowe Dam and the Surrounding area.

The Agricultural Projects for the replaced people.


Nuri Pyramids

The view of Merowe Dam from the Project Residential Campus

Merowe Dam

Kareema Pyramids and Barkal Mountain

Khartoum from the Airplane window

Precious Words of Hope!

Feeling a little depressed and blue?

Need something to boost your will and fill you with hope?

Read this, and I assure you will feel like nothing in the world can stop you from getting what/where you want.

Discover Your Destiny--01 (Great support for finding your success- 01 )


More interesting articles and reads for you from fellow African bloggers can be found in this interesting blog

African Path Village

Enjoy :-)

2008 III: The Nomad

III. The 2008 Nomad


2008 was a very special year as I have fulfilled a dream I been wishing for the past 7 years of my life, I finally made a return to my second home,UAE. In July 2008, I was able to take a 15 days leave from work, saved enough money and went on a short trip to U.A.E, that trip gave me a chance of a lifetime, whereas I met some old friends, some of them whom I haven’t seen in more than 15 years, believe it or not(Thanks to facebook!). I also met some of my “online friends” and “fellow bloggers”, who are now more than just that. I went on Safari in the Desert, a Dhow Cruise, shopping in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Sharjah, went bowling, sang karaoke, and did almost anything I ever wanted to do in UAE.

Another trip, and a magnificent magical experience for me in 2008 was my first time visiting a historical place in Sudan. It was very exasperating for me to see all my foreign co-workers go to all the historical and tourist areas in Sudan, while I never had the chance to. I’ve always wanted to visit these places, but it was always a problem of finding the right time and company. I still find it very strange how other Sudanese are never interested in going. Finally in November 2008, my best Norwegian friend “Marte” gave me the opportunity to see, feel and embrace a very important era of Sudanese History. I finally stood face to face with theMerawe Pyramids in Bajarawiya.

I can honestly call 2008, as the year of “Travelling”; only 4 months after my UAE trip, I managed to save enough money to travel again, but this time I was heading West, on a very non-advisable season! Winter in Europe was never an option for travellers and tourists, but I didn’t mind the freezing cold weather that went as low as -9 degrees Celsius in Oslo, because I considered it as a unique experience for myself, as I have never been in such a temperature before, nor have I seen or touched the snow. Oslo was not the only Norwegian city I got to visit, thanks to my hosts in Oslo (F. Thorkildsen and B. Valvik) they hooked me up with the kindest and sweetest couple living in Bergen (Brit & Gunnar), who wholeheartedly welcomed and hosted me during my 2 days stay in the enchanting city of Bergen. Although my main destination was Oslo, Norway, still I made use of the “Schengen Visa” privileges and went to Berlin, Germany by Bus, where I passed through Sweden and Denmark. Berlin was not only a sightseeing trip, but it was a wonderful family reunion with my Aunt and little cousin “Nandi”, whom I have written about her once before in my blog. Not only did I make complete use of the Schengen Visa, but also took advantage of the “Turkish Airlines” ticket and route, and managed to get a transit Visa from the Turkish Embassy here in Khartoum and made a 2 days stop in Istanbul, where I said goodbye to 2008 and welcomed 2009 in one of the most beautiful cities of the world.

Norwegian National Opera

Vigeland Sculpture Park

Parliament Building (Reichstag)

Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church

Berlin Zoo

Istanbul: City of Mosques

Grand Bazaar in Istanbul

I started out 2009 in the land where European and Asian Cultures come together, in the most beautiful forms of cultural diversity and unity, and I hope that this would be a sign that 2009 will be my year of Cultural and Intellectual escalation and hopefully more travels.

2008: My Year of Smooth Stability and Regular Mobility (I & II)

It just hit me today, that I have broken a major "blogosphere" rule, by not writing anything about my contemplations from the year 2008 and my resolutions for the year 2009.
It might be a little too late for this, since its already February, but anyway!

I. Stability Smoothness

2008 had been quiet a fascinating year for myself and my family too, and I am grateful for all the pleasant events which occurred during this blessed year.

In the La Familia aspect, I was delightfully flabbergasted by my youngest brother triumph in University, as he passed through his first year in Law School. Why am I shocked? Well, as far as I know Law School is not an easy thing, not even the first years, and the way I saw it, my brother was more into hanging out with his friends, music parties and developing his alleged DJ talent, but as long as he’s passing through his courses, I do not mind his interest in music and parties. We’ve all been there once in our lives, right?

Eid Elfitr this year carried a brilliant surprise for the family, a charming chapter in a Love Story, a wish that many women constantly pray for; my elder sister got engaged to her true love *mashallah*. What can be more beautiful than that? Hopefully, 2009 will put the finishing touch to this love story with a wedding glittered by love and affection Enshala.

II. Dwindling only to Thrive

One of the downfalls of 2008, if not the only, is the departure of my boss in September, leaving Sudan for good and going back to Norway, nonetheless, I didn’t loose my personal friendship with him and his wife, which they have generously proved during my visit to them in Norway. That incident had a major affect on my professional life in a way, as I had to re-adjust with the whole working environment with the presence of my new boss and adapting myself to him and his ways which, I must say, are completely different than my previous boss. To be honest, there were moments when I’d sit at my desk and actually cry out of frustration from this situation. Nevertheless, days passed by and I survived the test. Now, I have completely acclimatized to this new atmosphere at work.


Going through my previous poems written in 2008 -but posted lately- one would notice and grasp the changes in my writing style, that can only come as a result of the evolution of my emotions into a higher level, rising from the fringes of despair and my endless Insomniac Nights, to the heavens of content and stars of hope. What’s my secret? It should be no secret at all, as it is evident that my heart was stolen, but only to be remedied. No high expectations this time, just breathing in to my soul the current exquisite and delicate sensations evading the limitation of tomorrow’s fright and future’s trepidation.