Match making Services

The topic above needs alot of reading, researching in order for me to write in depth about it, and about its History in Sudan.. which ofcourse, I didnt get any time for during another busy week at work; however, what made me want to write about this specific topic is this.

A friend of mine created this blog, which she is planning to upgrade to a professional website soon, just like her service starting very simply online, and hopefuly one day will turn into a big firm with many branches around the states of Sudan.

I have admired her idea so much, and becuase I trust her work and will, I offered to help her in this new business, which will need as much promotional support as possible, considering the way people in Sudan think and their traditions barrier that will urge them to not only refrain from the idea but to completly object it in every way possible, for no reason but that it is new to Sudan.

I really hope you would give it a chance, and read the details with an open mind, and if you're a single Sudanese man/woman wanting to get married, then dont hesitate to download the application form and send it to them.


On the other hand, please participte in the poll I have at the top of my page, its for my upcoming post on love and relationships.

Matters of the Heart: Decoding the Language

Last week, I promised myself and a friend of mine that I will post more about my emotional, love-life and relationships experiences to share what I have learned through the years with other single ladies who are still suffering from the pickle of understanding men, particularly, Sudanese men. I am not sure if it is a smart thing to do, or how wise would my advice and tips be, but it's always good to hear other people's stories and thoughts, it never harms to share.


Before starting with this post, and the rest of the series, I would like to make a very important note. As we all know and keep repeating, people are not the same. Men and Women might be similar in a few attributes, but in a whole each individual is completely and utterly different than the other. So dear reader, never follow your friends advice, nor those relationship online articles immediately, but think of it carefully and wisely, then put it into the context of your man's personality and character, try to think and predict his reaction although it might be difficult, at the first times, but later on as you get to know him better it will get easier and easier to predict his reactions.

As we grew up from our ages of innocence entering the teenage years of curiosity, experimenting and rebelling, we have always heard people say that women are complicated and difficult to understand; a theory that was implanted into our brains deeply through American and Egyptian movies, which explains why women tend to blame themselves whenever a relationship comes to an end, and why we always find excuses for our men, repeating to ourselves "We are complicated, I'll just give him another chance to understand me and know me better".

And this, my dear readers, is the biggest mistake any woman can make in her relationship!

Its not something that I'm proud of, but I have been dating since I was 16, which makes it 9 whole years of dating, including 2 serious relationships, and what I have learned from my own experiences, and stories from my many girlfriends through these years is basically that Women are not complicated, neither are men; they are just simply different.

To understand more about the "difference" theory, which is 100% correct according to my and almost everyone I know experience, I would recommend reading the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", if you haven’t already.

In brief, the whole point of the book is explaining the difference between men and women. Both think in totally different ways, talk in different ways, different perspectives of life and priorities, and so are their views on love and how to show that love.

Most women are needy and clingy, demanding that their men show affection, love and appreciation 24/7, whereas men believe that showing love once in a lifetime is enough, simply because it won't change. (According to what they think)

Women need flowers, continuous phone calls, love letters, notes or messages as proof of love and passion, while men, believe that the fact that they are still there with her in that relationship/marriage is enough proof.

This is primary the no. 1 problem in all relationships, difficulty in understanding each other.

You think you know him too well, or he knows you too well; if so then you should be able to break the codes of his conversations, his body language, his actions, and he should be able to do the same. Don’t stress yourself if you don’t think you know him or understand him, it takes time; but to do so, always remember that he speaks a different language than yours.

So, try to understand your man's language, seek the right moment to talk to him about your language, cause as mush as it is hard for you to decode him, it is a million times harder for him, for he does not know there are codes to break.

Tell him about your "dramatic" side, explain how all women are drama queens, ask him to bare with it and just wait till the rage is over, talk to him about what you need and when, tell him that it would be easier for both if he just pressured himself a little bit and made that quick phone call in the middle of the day to make you feel better, and in return you will not nag on him as much and try to control your "nagging-urges".

Make him talk about his needs, as hard as it is for him, but with a few nice words he will surrender and give in, ask him tenderly how he shows his love, so you would understand it in a better way. A simple 15 minutes conversation can turn your life around. I know that the "lets talk" intro freaks them out, so make sure the surrounding is pleasant and his mood is unwind before starting, and assure him that this conversation is only to make your relationship stronger and healthier.



I really don’t know if what I wrote so far has been of any use or interest to you, but this was just a starter, or a preamble to more tips, advice and stories, trying to solve the mystery of Sudanese men.

Finally:

A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.

-Pearl S. Buck

Women and Emotional Failures!

Why do we "women" let our emotional love-life "failures" affect everything else in our lives? Why do we allow it to control us? Make us sink deep low with it. Why our happiness is always attached to pleasing other people? If they are not pleased with us, no matter how hard we try, that can only mean that we are "losers". Why is that?

I'm getting into another one of my depression-phases, and yes, the reason, again, is a man. This morning I was thinking about writing a well-written article about my views on love including some tips from my previous experiences, and what I have come to learn through the many years, lessons and tips I have been implementing on my current relationship, which I thought are the reasons why it is still holding on. I guess I was wrong.

The main reason why I am still in this relationship is stubbornness, me not wanting to admit that I have failed "again and me not wanting to go through another "breakup-process", with all its pain, grief and anger.

I was fooling him, myself and everyone around me to the extent that I almost believed that lie that I am "happily committed"; yet, the sad truth and reality is I am not happy.

Why not? Why am I depressed, again? Why am I suffering in this relationship, although in many ways it had been better than the previous ones?

The old lie that people used to say about relationships, what movies try hard to convince us, and what romantic dreamers "including myself" keep repeating all the time, that "Love is all that matters"; is fake, it's nothing but a Myth.

I totally comprehend that now, because in this relationship, love exists "madly", but other important elements don't.

It's about my needs, and his needs. We don't complete each other in that aspect! Simple as that. You might say, then why don't you just talk it over and fix it, if it is that simple. Well, in reality its not.

My needs contradict with his way of living, and his needs are not my perfect idea and view of love. I don't really want to get into that here, and now, as my main point in this post is, why women indulge themselves in misery, despair and depression so easily once they fail in a relationship, or once they feel they started to fail.

I'm getting this feeling right now, that I am a failure in everything else in my life, and that I should stop working so hard and trying so hard. I know this is wrong, I know I shouldn't give up that easily, but seriously, why is it taking me so long to find the man who can really satisfy me?